Just Trust

Two simple words...just...trust. Just trust. But why is it so hard to obey that command? Why is is so very hard to relinquish the control of fear and worry in my life? God has been working on me in this area and believe me, it hasn't been pretty.

For years and years and years, I've been a worrier. It started when I was a child although I don't remember what brought on the first bout of worrying. I know I worried over silly things like "what if she doesn't like me?" or "what if I don't get invited to that party?" but those silly childish worries soon gave way to bigger, teenage worries and then even bigger adult worries. All of the "what ifs" in my life compounded my fear and anxiety. For some reason, I allowed myself much time to dwell on all the "what ifs." The grip of fear held fast to my wrist, squeezing and squeezing and squeezing. Did I realize that I was a worrier? Oh yes. Did I like it? Oh no.

I could tell you story after story of how anxiety and fear crippled my life but that would turn into a book, so I will only tell you about one story. This story began in 2004. I was working for a mega church in the Atlanta area. I'd been working there for about 6 years and loved it. One day, I was approached by a coworker who asked me to pray about being part of a mission team that was going to China. To say I was shocked was a huge understatement! Me...a missionary to China??? Get out! As she witnessed the shock and confusion on my face, she said, "just pray about it." So I did. I began praying that very day and for the following year.

At first my prayers were simple..."okay God, what are you doing? Are you kidding? You want me to go to China???" Satan was hot on my heels and was constantly whispering in my ear, "you're no missionary! You're not good enough to go on that trip...are you kidding? Who do you think you are???" So I dug into my Bible and began studying. I read verse after verse about faith. I read verse after verse about worry. I read verses on fear, verses on trust and I kept on praying.

My coworker and I began to meet every day at lunch to pray about the trip. She was very patient and kind. She understood my fears. I explained to her that I'd never been out of the country. That I'd never flown over 2 hours at a time before. I explained that I had never been on a mission trip, that I didn't speak Mandarin, that I felt so inadequate...excuse, after excuse I gave as to why I didn't think I was the right one to go on the trip. She took my hand and looked me in the eyes and said, "just trust...just pray."

Fear began to grow as I seriously contemplated going on the trip. The what ifs began playing hide and seek in my mind...what if the plane crashes...what if you are captured and imprisoned in China- never to see your family again...what if ...what if...what if.... I tried hard not to listen to the voices of fear as they screamed in the recesses of my mind...you aren't good enough...you aren't a missionary....but the voices got louder and louder.

As I continued to read and study God's Word, I realized that I had given over too much ground to fear and worry. I was anxious all the time and there was no need to be. In John 14;1, I read "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God.; trust also in me." There was that word again...trust. And then in Romans 15:13, I read "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him so you may overflow." I was coming to realize that if I truly believed in God's Word that I was going to have to learn to let go. I was going to have to unclench my fists that were clinging so tightly to the worry and fear in my life and just trust. I was going to have to unclench those fists and do something!

Do something? What was I going to do? As I studied the New Testament, one word kept coming to my mind..."pisteuo." It's a Greek verb that means "to trust, to put one's faith in." Wow. Then I moved on to a verse in John 6:29 (Amplified Bible) where Jesus says "This is the work (service) that God asks of you: that you believe in the One Whom He has sent (that you cleave to, trust, rely on, and have faith in His Messenger). Jesus said that God wanted me to trust! Pisteuo! He wanted me to put that trust into action! Suddenly, the blinders fell off my eyes and I could see clearly. I felt the grip of fear loosen and finally set me free.

I began to understand that all my what ifs were moot. If the plane crashed, didn't I trust that God would take care of me? If I were imprisoned, didn't I trust that God would work all of it out for my good? Yes! Finally I learned to "just trust."

My coworker was so excited the day I went to her and told her that I would be a part of the trip. She smiled and said, "I knew you would, all you had to do was just trust." As I left her office, I smiled. I was so thankful that God used fear to teach me a valuable lesson. I learned not to let fear and worry rob me of the joy that faith and trust bring. I learned that trust is everything and that fear keeps us imprisoned in the grip of what ifs.

Every once and a while, Satan slithers a little snake of fear or doubt into my heart, but I quickly grab it by its tail and yank it out! I've learned to combat those serpentine lies with the truth of God's Word...and I continually hear the sweet, gentle voice of my Savior whispering "just trust...just trust."

My reputation

Have you ever had someone say something about you that is untrue? Perhaps they told a blatant lie, perhaps they just gossiped a little, whatever it was, it tarnished your reputation. And how did you react when there was a blemish on your reputation? Did you retaliate? Did you cringe with fear that someone might believe the untruth? Most of us have suffered in this way at some point in our lives.

Recently, I had faced this challenge and to make matters worse, the wrong was done to me by a family member. I obsessed about it for weeks.  I lost sleep.  Spent precious time methodically defending myself.  Lost time with my family because I just had to prove their lies wrong. Who was the loser?  Me.  I failed to recognize that Jesus is in control of my reputation.

Isn't it only natural for us to want to correct the injustice? Isn't it defending ourselves when we ty to figure out a way to make the real truth known? For some reason, we feel like we must set the record straight...but in reality, that's not our job. Sure in the flesh, we want our rights! We want the malicious gossip to be taken back, have the slate wiped clean...but does it really matter in the end anyway?

The truth is already known. It is known by Jesus Christ. He sees and weighs our motives and our hearts. He understands the pain and hurt we go through in situations such as this where the truth is abandoned and lies take its place. Instead of fighting for our rights, we must learn to let them go. Instead of worrying about our precious reputation, we must learn to rest in the knowledge of who we are in Christ.

You see, it doesn't matter what the world thinks. It only matters what God thinks. By remembering that we are free in Christ, we can truly understand that no matter what anyone says about us or does to tarnish our reputation, it doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that we are completely whole in Christ. It doesn't change the fact that all of our security rests in Him. By understanding this, we can be truly free and we don't have to worry about what is or isn't said about us. We don't have to try to protect our reputation and keep it free from blemishes. We can just rest knowing that God has it all under control!

No matter what is said about you, truth or not, the only thing that really matters is knowing who you are in Christ. The Bible says in Colossians 3:3 that "You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." Does a dead man have to worry about his reputation??? NO! So neither should we! Live you life the way God intended...free from anxiety and worry. Just rest in Him. Let the gossips say what they will. Remember that old rhyme from childhood... "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me?" It has great truth hidden in it! So count it all joy the next time someone tells an untruth about you and move on....

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, ³ for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
James 1:2–4 (ESV)

 

Do you suffer from Spiritual Alzheimer's disease?

Alzheimer's....a terrible, debilitating disease that robs people of a clear train of thought, their memory and ultimately destroys their life. There is no cure for Alzheimer's disease and no one seems to know what causes it. Many live in fear that they will one day suffer from this horrible physical malady but many of us suffer from a similar condition without any regard for what it steals from us...spiritual Alzheimer's.

My mother in law died of complications caused by Alzheimer’s in 2011. As the disease progressed her brilliant mind began to disappear into the relentless dark fog from which it would not emerge in this life. We watched sadly as day by day, she died a little more. First she would forget simple little things like turning off the stove and then it became worse...she would forget where she was going when she was driving and would often end up far away from home. Many times I would get a call while at work with her tearful voice on the other end of the phone saying "I don't know where I am. I don't know how to get home." I would gently calm her with kind words and help her know how to return back home. The disease progressed and soon she was unable to live at home. It was too dangerous for her to live alone. We found a good assisted living home and moved her in. She was content there for a while but then it got worse. About a year later we moved her into a care center for patients with Dementia and the slippery slope continued...Sometimes, when she seemed restless, one of us would start singing a hymn, and she would smile. She could remember the words if there was someone to sing with her. Another year passed by and we found ourselves surrounding her bedside saying our last goodbyes.

I was thinking about that today when I studied the book of Peter.  In chapter 1, verse 12 Peter wrote “Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them ….”  Why did they need to be reminded of something deeply ingrained in their thinking? The answer is intriguing and also strategic to the Christian’s daily life.

Countless times in Scripture, God tells His people to “remember.” He commands us, “Do not forget.” Does this refer to physical memory lapses such as forgetting a doctor's appointment? No, such a lapse in memory is usually about our relationship with our Creator. God is telling us not to forget Him, to remember what He has done for us, to remember the foundations and promises of the Gospel. How can we forget God? How can we fail to remember His magnificent grace?

Alzheimer’s is an attack upon the brain that takes place within our own bodies. In some strange way, the nerves that carry important signals to our brains somehow short circuit and don't function properly any longer. In the same way, we naturally possess a natural tendency toward sin and an apathy toward God. Spiritual Alzheimer's attacks our thoughts and memory of God. I am apt to forget the past and present mercies God has provided in my life. Instead, I often selfishly complain in about some pain or turmoil in my life. I am apt to forget His holiness and my unworthiness and think that God is obligated to me, that He owes me goodness. I am apt to forget His omniscience and wisdom while elevating myself to the position of  His advisor.  I am apt to forget my total dependence upon Him.

Do you suffer from spiritual Alzheimer's? Do you ever forget who you are and where you've come from? Do you ever forget all the things God has done in your life over the years? Do you forget His hand of protection...His grace and mercy? Make a point to take time to remember. Never forget that you are His precious child. He loves you and wants to bless you! Don't be a victim of spiritual Alzheimer's!  Take time to remember events in your life where He's guided you, provided for you, protected you....and remember to be thankful. Spiritual Alzheimer's has a cure...we can choose to remember. It may even help to jot down a time line of your life and circle events where you remember God worked, especially those times you called out to Him in prayer and He answered in a mighty way. Take time to remember and count your blessings daily then you won't be a victim of the debilitating disease of spiritual Alzheimer's.

Resolutions and Restoration

The new year is finally here. Many people will have made resolutions about what they plan to do as they start out this year with a clean slate. But how many times have we made resolutions with great intentions and then end up not being able to follow through? I, for one, have done this year after year. I always have great plans but they just never seem to work out the way I would like. I try really hard, but ultimately fail. Today as I was thinking about failure, I was reminded as I read John 21 that no matter how many times I fail, that Jesus is always ready to take me back with open arms. He never chastises me or berates me for my failures, but just lovingly embraces me with his gentleness and understanding.

He knows me better than anyone and knows that my plans aren't always in line with His plans. Try as I might, I can't always succeed at the things I set out to do. Most importantly, I find myself grieved at the many times I set out to do "something good for God" only to find that I fail miserably.

In John 21, Jesus has just recently risen from the dead. The disciples have finally grasped the fact that He is who He said He is and they slowly come to terms with that in their own individual ways. Jesus gently and lovingly allows them to let it "sink in" and then He takes them further. He is especially  concerned with Peter. You may remember that Peter was the one on which Jesus said He would build His church before He was crucified. You may also remember that Peter was the one who denied he ever knew Christ when he was captured and about to be crucified. It is very important that now Jesus focuses special attention on Peter as He asks him a very important question..."Peter do you love me?" Peter must have been dumbfounded when Christ asked him this and he responds "Lord, you know I love you." He knew that Jesus knows everything because He is God. But then Jesus takes it a step further and asks Peter again...do you love me and when He asks this time, He gives Peter a command to feed his sheep. The conversations continues and after three times of being asked whether or not he loves Jesus, Peter becomes disheartened and grieved.

I think that Jesus specifically asked Peter three times if he loved Him in a counter to the three times Peter denied Him. I think that Jesus wanted to see that Peter was restored and completely understood that no matter how many times he failed Christ, that He would always be willing to accept Peter back into His loving arms.

Isn't it comforting to know that no matter how many times we fail, that Jesus will lift us up and restore us? He doesn't chide us and berate us for our failings. He knows we're human and we will fail. He knows that we have good intentions but that sometimes we can't live up to those plans. The main thing that Jesus wants from us isn't our good intentions...it's our love.

Instead of making resolutions for the new year, why not refocus yourself and make the main thing the main thing...set out to recommit your love to Christ this year. Seek to put Him first in all you do and to be obedient to His will for your life. In doing so, even if your plans fail, you will find yourself wrapped in the unconditional love of our Savior. You'll understand that no matter how many times you fall down that He will be there to pick you up and restore you. He doesn't care about our good intentions. He only wants the best for us and His best is for us to understand and accept His love. That's pretty simple isn't it? There isn't much pressure in that is there?

This year, don't make plans that you won't be able to keep. Despite your intentions for doing good, you'll ultimately fail because we all do. We're human and we WILL fail. Set your heart and mind on what matters most...just rest in and trust in His love for you. He's waiting with open arms....it's a new year after all...what have you got to lose?

You can read John 21:15-19 here http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+21%3A15-19&version=NLT

Where do we go from here?

This year has been a challenging one for so many people. The economy has suffered and many have lost their jobs. Families that were once making ends meet are now finding themselves struggling. They wonder when or if things will ever get better. Worry takes over and fear sets in. Uncertainty looms as trust dwindles.

While none of us know what the future holds, we can rest in knowing who holds our future. God tells us that He sees our needs and knows what we need even before we ask. Let's look at one of God's names, the name that signifies His ability to see us...to know us. The name El-Roi means "the God who sees me" and it is found in Genesis 16:13. "You are a God who sees me.”

Hagar, a servant of Sarah, Abraham's wife, served her mistress faithfully. She worked hard day in and day out and even gave Abraham a son when Sarah was unable to give him one. Her days rolled by in a monotone of mindless work. No hope of getting ahead, no chance for marriage or family. She had traveled far away from home for this position and had no intention of jeopardizing her job by messing up.

 

Sarah wanted a baby but was unable to have one so she gives her servant girl, Hagar, to her husband. No one knows it yet, but Hagar got pregnant! Suddenly, instead of things being better, all of a sudden they grow much worse. Sarah is very unkind to Hagar and very jealous of her. She speaks harsh words to Hagar and threatens her. She tells her husband, Abraham that she wants Hagar to leave. Abraham tells Sarah that she can do what she chooses to with Hagar, afterall, she is her servant girl....so Sarah banishes her from their home. Hagar is scared and bewildered. She does not understand why she is being sent away. She has done nothing wrong.

 

Hagar heads for the hills. She is so distraught that she stops in the middle of a desert road and begins to weep. Suddenly, the angel of the Lord appears and asks Sarah what she's doing and where she's going. He also tells her that she needs to go back to her mistress and submit to her. (Can you imagine Sarah's distress??) Then the angel tells her that God is going to bless her and give her many descendants through her son, Ishmael. That’s when she saw God. Actually, that’s when Hagar realized that God saw her. She says to God, "You are the God who sees me!"

 

So even though we don't know what the future holds, we know that God sees us and He holds the future. He sees the you that no one else ever sees. He sees deep into your heart and soul. He knows what's coming around the corner. He knows what the new year is going to bring into your life. Aren't you thankful that you don't know what the future holds? If we knew all the things that lay ahead, we might be scared out of our wits! But thankfully, we have a God who is loving and kind. A God who wants to bless us.

 

There's no cause for worry...no need to panic! Rest knowing that you have a God who sees YOU and loves YOU. Step out into the unknown with confidence knowing that He will give you just enough light for your next step on the dark path...all you have to do is be willing to pick up your foot and take the step....

 

(You can read the Bible story here: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+16)

My New Year's resolution: Choosing to give the gift of forgiveness

A new year is coming and as all of us do,  I began thinking about resolutions. As I searched my heart; I had to ask if I was holding onto any bitterness or unforgiveness. Were there past hurts that were still haunting me? Had there been hurtful words that still echoed in my mind? Could I be holding onto something that I should have let go a long time ago???

Forgiveness...the very word evokes pain doesn't it? If you've been hurt or wronged by someone, the wound is probably still very fresh in your mind. It's natural for us to want to retaliate when we've been wronged...that's the fleshly side of us wanting justice, but that is totally the opposite of how God sees it. When we want to hold onto that bitterness and unforgiveness, we inadvertently feed it as it slowly grows inside us. God wants to totally eradicate that pain so we can live in freedom.

Some people choose to replay the wrong done to them over and over in their minds...like instant replay on a movie screen. Each time the wrong is brought to the forefront of their mind, emotions swell and the hurt seems to grow larger and larger- festering like an infected wound. The hurt may have taken place many days, months, or years ago but as it is replayed, it can seem as fresh and new as if it were yesterday.

Lewis B. Smedes wrote in his book, Forgive and Forget, "When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself." When we choose unforgiveness, we imprison ourselves in the past. We allow the wrong that was done to us to constantly weigh us down and hold us captive. If we choose forgiveness, by an act of our will, we allow God to release us from our man-made prison.

If we are obedient to Christ, we will choose forgiveness. In the Bible, we are given clear instruction in Colossians 3:13: "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." You may wonder how we can forgive when we don't feel like it? We forgive by choosing to forgive as a heart choice- an act of faith on our parts out of obedience to Christ. It's not in our nature to forgive on our own, so we have to allow God to forgive through us...to empower us to choose to forgive. We can't just forgive in our heads by saying "I forgive you," we have to be willing to forgive from the heart. A forgiveness that says "I choose to forgive you even if you never know that I've forgiven you...even if you never ask for my forgiveness...even if you never admit that what you did to me was wrong."  
 Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. Many hurts will never be forgotten even though they are forgiven...but, God can erase the pain from the hurt if you will let Him heal your heart.  He can set you free from anger, bitterness, and resentment. We are the ones who suffer the most when we choose not to forgive the one who wronged us. Forgiveness isn't going to just happen overnight. Often times, it takes time and is a very slow process especially if you've been hurt over and over again.  Forgiveness is not a one time thing! The Bible tells us that forgiveness is a continual action, did you know that? In Matthew 18:21-22, the Bible tells us that Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother when he sinned against him. Peter wanted to know if up to seven times was enough but Jesus said "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven." In essence, He was saying, forgive as many times as you are hurt.    It's not easy to forgive but if we allow ourselves to see the person through God's eyes, how can we not forgive? When we remember that God forgave us for all of our sins, how can we hold unforgiveness in our hearts? Matthew 6:14-16 tells us "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." And in Mark 11:25, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

In order to truly be set free, we must choose to forgive. Don't allow roots of bitterness and unforgiveness to strangle your joy and happiness. Don't let the weeds of resentment grow in your heart! Unforgiveness is like a Cancer that eats away at us, slowly devouring our heart. Choose forgiveness and wrap that gift up in the love and grace of Christ. It won't be easy, but you can do it! I am choosing to give the gift of forgiveness in this new year. I'm choosing to release myself from the pain of the past. I'm going to begin this new year fresh and free....how about you? Will you CHOOSE forgiveness? It's your choice after all, choose wisely.

God cares about the little things

It's two days before Christmas and my oven isn't working! I called the appliance repair company today and they are swamped. Perhaps they can get to me today and perhaps they can't...they can't guarantee anything. I'm in full fledged "freak out" mode. I'm going to have a house full of people on Christmas day and I don't know how I'm going to cook for them. My menu is planned and the groceries have been bought, I just don't know what to do! But wait a minute...the Bible says "Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you." It doesn't say cast some of your cares on Him, but ALL of them. Okay, do I really think that God cares about my silly little oven problems??? Yes, I do! I know that He cares about all things, big and small. He cares about what concerns me because He loves me so very much...after all, He is my Heavenly Father and Fathers always want what's best for their children, right??? So, I will humble myself and get on my knees before my Father and ask for a simple request. The Bible tells me that NOTHING is impossible for God and that if I have faith as big as a mustard seed, that I can say to a mountain be moved into the sea and it will be moved...so, if that is what the Bible says, then I believe it! I know that God knows my needs and even before I ask Him for His help, He's already providing. As an act of faith, I choose to believe that what God says, He means. Do I think it's a trivial prayer request, I might if I wasn't already aware that the devil certainly wants me to think that way so I won't take time to go before the throne...but since I know the way he works and understand his tactics, I'll just go with what I know to be true...that Jesus loves me and cares about me. He always wants the best for me. Even small things in our lives touch His heart and I believe with all my heart that He cares. No, I don't think that He's a genie that I can command to do this or that...heaven forbid! I would never presume to "tell" my Savior what to do...but, I do know that He hears my prayers and a prayer offered up in faith is subject to His mercy and grace. Even though my trivial little problem might not seem worthy of praying for, I'm going to trust it into the hands of a very capable, loving, kind, and giving Father and see what He chooses to do with it today. Maybe the repairman can fix it and maybe he can't...but either way, I know that I can take ANYTHING before the throne because my God is loving and merciful. He is full of graciousness and if He chooses to provide the knowledge or equipment that the repairman needs to take care of my little problem, then let it be so. If my oven isn't able to be repaired that's okay too, because I know that God works ALL things together for my good. Perhaps it's time for a new oven or perhaps there's another reason that I don't understand...I am choosing to trust Him no matter what so I'm going to say goodbye now and get down on my knees. I can almost smell the Christmas cookies baking, can't you???